He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
