While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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