he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
