Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
