My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
