i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
