Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm bleeding and have questions
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
