If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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