Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
