When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
