seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
