A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
