Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
