Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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