The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
