I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize