so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
