a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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