your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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