Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
