I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
