i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
