high people should be assigned attendants
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize