OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
