Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Randomize
