oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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