I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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