i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
