but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
As shirtless as possible
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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