I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize