maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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