If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
