My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
