I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just pee around me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
