She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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