Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
