Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
