Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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