i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it's like iHOP with fire
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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