She's like a pop up book from hell.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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