I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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