two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
