I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
