is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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