youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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