Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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