she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
