as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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