Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
