I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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