Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I deserve this hangover.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize