Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
