remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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