I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
