when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Small penises have feelings too.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
