We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
