Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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