The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
