exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
