I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
