Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize