They should really pass out barf bags in church
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Two words: nipple clamps
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