I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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