you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
