What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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