So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
