So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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