So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
