going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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