I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
