I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize