I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
