Plan B is the new Plan A
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
