Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
