it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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