Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Farmville is her only friend.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
